The Burden No One Talks About—A Doctor’s Reflection on Hidden Mental Distress

Introduction

There is an epidemic ignored by many. It is mental disturbance. A person is mentally disturbed when he experiences distress that affects his thoughts, emotions, and behavior, which eventually shows up in daily activities. Despite all the stress, you might still be engaged in work, but the heaviness remains. You may perform the work well, yet you know how difficult it was during that time and even after. This never stops because you are so conditioned to it that it feels normal. This is something experienced by many, and you might be one of them. If you think you are the only one, you are not. Almost all of us go through this regularly. It is not considered a disease, but its effect is profound.

The Hidden Epidemic

Many studies have been conducted that have shown almost half of the study population was mentally distressed (Rtbey, G., Ethiopia; Linus P. Rweyemamu, Tanzania). A longitudinal study in the U.S. showed that mental distress increased significantly among adults from 1993 to 2020. The subjects in this study did not always have a formal disorder (Nikhila S. Udupa, U.S.). This burden is also highlighted in work. Nearly nine out of ten people suffer from work-related stress, and half of them admit that it hampers their performance (Berkeley Study, U.S.).

The Social Burden

We are social beings. The things that we do not only impact us but also the ones around us. Mental distress has been related to the fragmentation of our relationships. When our mind is continuously worked up, our body shifts to its primal state, where there is a fight or flight response. In the heat of the moment, we may say something that leaves a long-lasting dent in our relationship. Sometimes the glass may shatter so completely that it cannot be pieced together. An overworked mind is the cause of ego. When ego becomes stronger, we do not say sorry. Sometimes a simple sorry is enough to bridge a shattered relationship.

We have a great ability to see everything as a whole. When there is mental distress, we try unsuccessfully to focus on something and cannot get things done. Even when we manage to complete tasks, the emotional trauma it causes can be too burdensome. This cycle continues, and with each turn, the problem grows. We want to break free from the burden we feel but do not know its cause. We start following people, schemes, or groups, hoping it will solve the burden, but it never seems to reduce.

We may not reach our financial potential. In this age, most of us have to work most of the time, and we might not have any other option, as we must earn a living for ourselves and our families. A mentally distressed mind rarely finds the time or clarity to understand how to invest and strengthen our finances. We also tend to buy things that are useless to us, seeking short-term relief from our mental state.

For short-term mental relief, we may become addicted to our smartphones. They provide a quick rise in dopamine that feels soothing, but in the long run, this habit takes a terrible toll on the mind. Unaware of these effects, we often treat our phones better than our own minds. Have you ever noticed the panic we feel when we lose our phone? Yet we remain almost indifferent to losing peace of mind. This is a reminder that silent suffering is far more common than we think.

Personal Experience

Being a doctor from Nepal my scenario has also been similar. I have experienced all this myself. From my time in medical school, after getting a medical license. I have felt mental tiredness, meaninglessness and the racing mind. There were moments when I used to look fine, yet my mind was tired.

This changed when I accidentally practiced meditation. I can’t say I am immune to mental stress, after all I am a human, but I have learned to observe what is in my mind and have a good laugh that I keep to myself. I have learned to overcome my ego. I have learned to forgive and apologize whenever I am wrong. I have learned to see every human with respect.

Just being a doctor doesn’t make me a superior being and I am as important as the most powerful person. I am a human. I feel, I observe, I live, I fail, I fall, I stand up and move on in the most beautiful path called life.

The Cultural Silence

Mental distress is a common experience for many of us. We take it as normal, perhaps because we have learned to live with it. It has remained the most consistent companion we have ever known. Yet we rarely talk about it. We have been brought up in a “be strong” culture, where expressing vulnerability is often seen as weakness. Sometimes we catch a glimpse of this inner pain, but modern life, with its glorification of busyness, hides it well. The pain often surfaces when we are most vulnerable. In such moments, some may think of taking harmful steps. Most do not act on these thoughts, but a few take the most tragic step—ending their own life.

Approximately 1.2 million people have conversations related to suicide or self-harm with ChatGPT every week. It is one of the remarkable things about AI, showing how it has become a space where so many people feel safe enough to open up. And if this is just the estimate for suicidal thoughts, imagine how many more silently struggle with mental distress.

In Nepal, where I work, life feels different. The place is among the most remote regions of the country, yet the lifestyle supports good mental health. We work during the day, go to the hospital, and in the evening sit together, talk, cook our own meals, and keep our phones aside. We all seem happy. Modernization is still a few years away, but perhaps that is what keeps life balanced. In the cities, however, the scenario is different.

The Path to Unburdening

In order to break free from this unnecessary stress, we must first understand that it is a problem. It is only when a person realizes he has a disease that he seeks treatment. You cannot heal what you will not face. There is a way out of this suffering. In this age, when there are plans to begin a civilization beyond Earth, this unburdening of the mind has become a necessity. When we think about the vastness of the universe and where we stand, it feels as if we are just a grain in the Sahara, perhaps even less than that. There are so many things to learn and marvel.

The decision to rise above this turmoil is ours. We have to believe in ourselves. There are many examples we can follow, but we must make an effort. We need to constantly remind ourselves that much of this distress is self-created and illusionary. For example, at work, we can choose to do only what we can manage within the time we have. Sometimes we chase promotions, investing great time and effort. It can be emotionally draining, and to cross the finish line we often put everything on the line. This leaves a deep and lasting impact on the mind. Sometimes, to avoid further burden, it may be wiser to stop chasing. Rest is vital not only for the body but also for the mind.

In relationships, we can choose to rise above our ego and remember that the other person is someone with whom we have shared beautiful memories. In times of suffocation, it is not a shame to open up to those we love. They will most likely stand beside us and offer their support.

Sometimes these measures may not work. In such moments, we can learn how our mind functions. There are countless ways to help ourselves. We can consult a psychologist, be more mindful and live in the present, exercise or practice yoga regularly, create digital balance, enjoy nature, strengthen social connections, follow a diet that promotes mental peace, or cultivate meditation and self-reflection. There are always ways to make the most of the time we have now.

The Hope Beyond the Noise

We should consider ourselves blessed to be human. We have within us the capacity to uplift and transform ourselves. In this era, this inner awakening is more important than at any other time in human history. If you have similar experiences or reflections, please share them in the comments. To explore ways of rising above mental turmoil, visit www.meditatingderm.com.